First problem: I've been out partying until 3am and I've now got the hangover from hell. On 3 hours of sleep, I've dragged my sorry arse to the start still wearing makeup and with my nails painted black. Great look for an Audax rider. My head hurts so much, I forget how much I need to throw up.
Second problem: The wind is blowing at about a gazillion kph. It's so windy that it's almost impossible to ride in any kind of organised group because it's just too dangerous. Gusts of wind can easily knock me half a metre sideways without warning and when descending at speed, it's vital to use the entire lane. In many cases on this ride one lane is the whole road.
As well as being windy to ride in, the noise is so great that it's impossible to talk with others right along side. Being one to always look for the silver lining, I note that after a while it's hard to tell whether or not my head still hurts or it's just the roaring wind in my helmet. The worst part is that every time I push up a hill my stomach threatens to release the contents vouchsafed to it.
My heart skips a beat as we come to the thriving metropolis of Sidonia, a town which consists entirely of the sign above.
Come ride with me,
Through the veins of history,
I'll show you how god,
Falls asleep on the job.
And how can we win,
When fools can be kings,
Don't waste your time,
Or time will waste you.
Muse - Knights of Cydonia
Until now I always thought this song was a cute bit of fun. At least I could remember the la, la, la part.
This wasn't the best ride I've ever done. Thanks to some moral support from George, we managed to knock over the ride in around 4 hours 20 after which I went home to panadiene and bed in that order. I'm never dancing again. It gives me a headache, though I'm told it leads to fornication... See, always looking for the silver lining.
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3 comments:
Chucking a Muse reference in a blog post is almost a summoning ritual to get me over here.
OK. That's one reader, I'm on my way... I could almost chuck in a Muse reference every day. Those guys are so much fun and their songs just get stuck inside my head.
Warning: We are moving into a Patti Smith reference zone, not so much fun but incredibly cool.
My wind estimate for day would be closer to 2 gazillion kph.
Keep up the partying and over indulgence - it gives us mortals half a chance of keeping you in sight!
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