blogscrement

100% Dance Hit Action!

2010-07-27T12:50:00.004+10:00

When it's 6am on a Tuesday, 2°C outside, my legs and back are still twitching from last night's squat session; there's only one thing for it. To go like hell.

This morning's training session was a rip-snorter. Coach Daryl kept us going so we didn't get cold. Not much danger of that. The 50 lap warmup was even jiggier than usual courtesy of Ray "The Professor" and Miss Steph "accidentally" running a 94inch gear from the get-go. Warmup comfort factor was further diminished by a dodgy saddle setup. CD has managed to ratchet my saddle up to the point where it's more than 40mm higher than I ride on my road bike. Combined with a brutally up-hill saddle angle this made for some interesting peddling.

A couple of entries, quick saddle adjustment, whack on a big gear and we're into it.

My heart-rate regularly dipping into the 170's I don't dare venture too far from the puke bin. Some days my legs do just as I ask, and this was one of them. Smash into those pedals and the bike just goes forward. No squares here, just flying arcs of kickarse fun.

Jumping off the top of the track already in the high forties, I swoop at the two hundred metre line like a wedgie on a rabbit kitten. I leave nothing but a stray puff of grey fur. Hooking into a team sprint I realise I'm going 50kph and no more than a hand's width off the tyre in front of me.

It's mornings like this I know just why I love being on a bike so much. For these two hours I become something other than a ganglanky biped. I'm spinning circles, in circles in glorious circles. Now I just need to find somewhere to lay-down for a while to stop twitching.

...

Solstice - It Can Only Get Better

2010-06-21T12:08:00.002+10:00

I've been searching for the inspiration to write more rubbish here and having ridden to work in the thick, wet fog on the shortest day of the year seems like a logical place to start.

I have no idea what I've been up to since my last post except that I've been having a whole bunch of fun on my bike. The track is really a great place to be when it's cold and wet but I've been really itching to get a few K's under my wheels out on the road.

Last Monday I rode from Whitfield to Whitlands on a lovely sunny winters day and the taste for riding was right there in my mouth. There was barely a breath of wind it was a lovely 10 degrees and even the contrails guided our way up the hill. The descent was just as much fun, spinning out 52-12 much too easily. The company was wonderful too.

What am I doing next? Who knows. Right now I'm just enjoying riding and learning. Racing the track, getting my bum kicked by spotty teenagers. Bombing down hills on my lovely plastic bike or punting to work on the fixie in the fog.

Coming up I have the Preston Mountain Classic, Mallee Routes, the State Masters Road Champs, Aus Masters Roads, Perth-Albany-Perth and the High Plains Road Race. Beyond that, I'll wait and see.

Let's see how I go just writing about it a bit here as the days stretch out.

...

First Blood and Fun on the Track

2010-02-15T12:28:00.005+11:00

On Saturday, I received my first dose of "Track Rash". Those nasty scrapes and burns one gets when sharing skin with the surface of a velodrome. The lucky velodrome in question was at Ararat where I was for the Lady Diamond Stakes.

The worst part of this was that I didn't race. Didn't even get on a bicycle.

So how did I manage to take lumps out of my knee, elbow and hip? I was pusher for the Track Princess. This involves holding the bike and rider upright until the gun, then running and pushing them into the race. Simple? Not when you have size 13 feet and the coordination of an epileptic praying mantis.

So boom, down I went, face first onto the concrete. In my defence, I kept pushing right to the deck, as evidenced by the fact that I didn't even get a hand down to break my fall.

As it turned out Endurogirl recovered from the somewhat distracted start to qualify for the final of the 1000m wheel race. :)

All up it was a really great afternoon of racing. Highlights of the afternoon were Apryl Eppinger's bolt from the scratch mark to swamp the frontmarkers in the Ladies Diamond Stakes with 10 metres to spare. She also proceded to win just about everything else as well. Then there was the amazing effort of Miles Olman who one the A grade scratch race by puting a lap on the field. There was also the fun of seeing friends like Wayne Gebert win C grade motor-pace and the C grade scratch race with a daring attack or Emy Huntsman pulling third in the Ladies Diamonds.

Go watch some track racing soon. It's so much fun.

Coming up are:

Sid Patterson Grand Prix and Melbourne Madison - Friday 26/2 @ DISC
Mebourne Cup on Wheels Afternoon Carnival - Saturday 27/2 @ DISC
Revolution 6 & Melbourne Cup on Wheels - Saturday 27/2 @ DISC
Bendigo International Madison - Saturday and Sunday 6-7/3 @ Bendigo

Go watch some really amazing bike racing. It's cheaper than cricket or football and way more exciting.

...

Confusing Your Chamois With Your Chainsaw?

2010-02-03T08:44:00.005+11:00

I really don't get to see many other cyclists on my epic trans suburban commute. I cover 60km each way and the only other cyclist I see normally is the guy who bundles up the herbs at the local chinese fruit, veg and grocery shop on his 20 year old Kmart mountain bike. You know the one with an aging polystyrene foam box held to the rack with a bungee cord. He rides in thongs, in winter. I cover roads with a total of about 3.6km of useless, intermittent bike lanes.

So, with all this in mind, it's not surprising that the Great Cycling Boom in commuter bike use has gone largely unnoticed. Imagine my surprise on my way home last night, to see this large ad on the back of a bus, warning about the use of inferior chamois.

At about this point, I'd ridden in the same knicks at track training and then on to work in the morning and had clocked another 50km in muggy 34 degree heat, into a headwind on the way home. So this wasn't far from how my knicks were feeling. It's not entirely clear from the ad though, just which knicks use this special chamois. Assos - I'll bet.

...

Car Free

2010-02-02T14:54:00.003+11:00

This week looks like being a little challenging. I'm car free following the sardine can impersonation it did while refusing to let go of the bicycles and racks vouchsafed to it. It's off at the car hospital being made well, or at least being made back into a sedan.

This is much more than can be said for the bikes. Endurogirl's beloved Luna was pronounced beyond help by Dr Raoul on the weekend and the Yellow Peril Meh(k) is sporting terminal cracks in the top and seat tubes. So it's fun and games time with insurance companies who seem to have made a new sport in obstacle forms.

Add to this the fact that Meh(k) and Bianchi have both screwed up their new model intro's to the extent that it's almost impossible to get our hands on replacement frames and we're in for a bit of mucking around to get back on the road.

While the car is off at the hospital, I'm getting lots of k's under the wheels of Grace the fixed wheel workhorse.

This morning I did track training and then rode to work. A couple of sets of flying starts off the top of the bank in an 81 inch gear has left my legs in that over-cooked spaghetti state. I feel very tired now.......

It looks like I'll be knocking out my first week of more than 400km for quite a while. Unless you count the week before last.

...

Feeling Out Of Place In Puke Town

2010-02-01T13:29:00.003+11:00

With Mountain Goat Season now firmly behind me it's time to get serious about getting some speeeeeeed! With this in mind I turned up to track training, keen to show I'm determined to become a proper racer. I put on my wonderful new NancyBoy Skinsuit and suitably adjusted my attitude to purposeful.

I realised pretty much right away that I was pushing it uphill. It's embarrassing to say the least when you sit next to Endurogirl and Miss Poidy. Their quads really are bigger than my waist.

Track Princesses after a grueling set of flying 500m reps.

The thing that really troubles me about becoming a real trackie is that it doesn't seem to matter how hard I smash myself against that track, I just can't drive myself puke. All these seasoned sprinters seem to be able to summon a technicolour yawn by talking about a set of three deadlifts. Even big tough Eddie seemed to easily push himself to the point of barfville. I drive myself to the max, sprint repeats, two laps, four laps, six laps, full tunnel vision, weak at the knees, spots before the eyes, the whole velodrome spins - no up-chucking. I feel like a failure.
Miss Poidy was able to reduce herself to horizontal after one set. I find myself frustratingly still standing. Even a dose of East German Institute of Sport developed hypnotherapy from coach DJ wasn't enough to coax a barf from me.

I'm obviously going to have to resort to Puke Enhancing Drugs if I'm ever going to compete at this elite level. Ipecac Syrup or maybe even a rubber vomit from Bernard's Magic Shop. I've got one here now, but I'm worried some of the carrot chunks don't conform to a UCI 1:3 ratio.

God this track racing gets complicated...

...

ACE 2010 - Take 5

2010-01-29T16:22:00.003+11:00

kind of buzz that lasts for days
had some help from insect ways
comes across all shy and coy
just another nancy boy
woman man or modern monkey
just another happy junkie
fifty pounds, press my button
going down

and it all breaks down at the role reversal
got the muse in my head she's universal
spinnin' me round 'cos she's coming over me
and it all breaks down at the first rehearsal
got the muse in my head she's universal
spinnin' me round 'cos she's coming over me

Placebo - nancy boy

ACE 2010 - Take 4

2010-01-29T15:16:00.002+11:00

continued from ACE 2010 - Take 3

So, I've finished another Alpine and my first ACE.

ACE 2010 NancyBoy Approved Highlights

Finding that Surly Dave had knocked over the 200k! I know just how hard Dave worked to do this and his effort is truly inspiring
Sitting in the Ovens River with Endurogirl cooling our legs
Riding with the lovely Michael B. A joy as always and got me through my toughest part of the ride
The fact the my brand new and untried Fi'zi:k Arione got me through 250km without trying to tear me a new one
The wonderful section of road from Omeo to the Falls Creek Turnoff
Raspberry Hill or the Bit of Grit as it has been officially renamed by Fraser R - A hill to be respected
The water stop at on top of the aforementioned Bit of Grit
That avocado and cheese sandwich which was still in my pocket after 250km - yum!
CO2 cartridges - bring on the global warming
The look on the face of the guy directing traffic at the roundabout in Bright as ten wild eyed cyclists closed in on him at 40+kph
Getting Endurogirl a beauty when she thought I was going to do something REALLY silly
Making the last 200km on wafer thin racing tyres and no remaining spare tubes. I did have a patch kit though
Making the entire 250km on a frame with a great big crack where top tube and seat tube meet without incident - well done Great Trek Bicycle Company
Last but not least - every turn of my pedals

Thankyou

Commander Phil and all his team. Everything was just perfect.
Lieutenant Alan and all his team for the vision and energy to make the ACE really ACE. A wonderful bike ride with magnificent organisation and support.
Endurogirl for unwavering support in every way
Surly Dave for not getting pissed with my anxious phone calls and texts at 9pm the night before the Alpine
Michael B for always being great to ride with
Each and every volley. You have no idea how lucky we are to have such a fantastic bunch. I've really got to get on the volley list some time soon. Hmmm. Maybe the year after next, 'cos next year I just want to.....
Coach DJ for being supportive and positive against all contrary evidence.
Dr Ian Gillam for sorting out my exhaustion problems - Antioxidants rool ok?
Sukkie sports drink - seriously, you have to try this stuff.

A Final Thought

We are so lucky to have an event like the Alpine. It hasn't happened by accident. It's because of the wonderful work of every volley and especially because of the tireless work of a very small handful of very important people. I have had the opportunity of being involved in or in close contact with lots of really good cycling events in the last year or so. None of them come close to the Alpine, both as a selection of rides and as an event in itself. Please be very protective of the Alpine and all it stands for, be even more protective of those very important people who make it what it is.

...

ACE 2010 - Take 3

2010-01-28T16:06:00.004+11:00

continued from ACE 2010 - Take 2

The final sections of the descent from Dinner Plain to Omeo were a joy with warming air, good company from Michael and super fast speeds. Slowly I felt my legs and brain coming back to something approximating a functional cyclist. To further improve things they had wonderful food and a track pump at Omeo. This greatly improved the 90(odd) psi I'd gotten from the 16 grams of CO2 on top of Hotham and my blood sugar. Snuffling up to the trough, I scoffed a couple of rolls and jammed another in my pocket. Yummy hummus.

Back on the road, Michael was moving more slowly than I usually expect him to and insisted that I press on ahead. I'm still unsure if he was going through a flat patch, had more respect than I did for what was to come or was just sick of hearing me talk. Slowly, I moved ahead, sure I'd see him again before long. As the K's ticked away on this beautifully graded, smooth and serpentine road, my spirit and pace lifted and sang. I was doing 30kph up the Mitta Mitta River Valley without raising a sweat and I was alone in my reverie.

Around half-way along this section I was collected by eight other riders "en peloton" and our pace increased to between 35 and 40kph as we wove our way along the valley to the river's tune. I managed to stuff another roll and a very nice avocado and cheese sandwich from my pocket into my mouth during this lovely stage. I poured in the Sukki too. Girding my mental and metabolic loins for what I knew lay ahead.

Turn the corner and there it is. Impressive, steep and hot in full sun. I take my time to find a new tune to dance to. This one is a dirge. In what seems like a couple of minutes I'm alone again. The bunch of riders I've been riding in such synchronicity with for so long have vanished. One or two ahead, the rest behind. After half a K or so at 16% things level out to something more reasonable and 10%ish. This isn't too bad. What's all the fuss about. A few kilometres later, I ride right past a water stop and 20 or so riders. I've still got a litre so I'm sure I can make the next point.

Then Raspberry Hill kicks again 17% and again more 16%. Again and again on this rough gravelly surface. Now I'm riding past people walking. And these are very strong, tough riders. It's kicking me, right in the berries. The sweat is now pouring off me way faster than my head band can deal with and faster than I can drink. On some sections, I couldn't drink if I wanted to. I need both hands to pull on the bars as my legs push away. Climbing here is a whole body activity. Now my speed's down to 11kph and sweat is running into my eyes. So salty, I'm crying. Glancing at the speedo I realise I've only done 10km. There's at least another 10 to go.

Slowly it eases just a bit and just a bit more. Venturing back to give me a kick now and then but not quite so hard. At last the water point comes into view with perfect timing. I've emptied my last bottle only a kilometre ago. Stopped under a tree here it is cool and quiet. I feel a thousand miles from the evil bit of crappy bitumen I've spent the last hour and a bit with. Bottles filled I bravely push off again. Magically, from here on the hill relents and with each kilometre it get easier until I emerge above the snowline.

Once out on the Bogong High Plains, the scenery and the day are spectacular. Stands of low, white-bleached snowgums burned in fires of recent years contrast with the luscious green carpet of grasses, mosses and wild-flowers. The many alpine lakes and tarns mirror the sky with vibrant turquoise. The mountain is so beautiful that I start to cry. A good thing because it washes some of the salt from my eyes. I stop to take a photo and after fumbling for a good minute to get the camera from my pocket, I realise I'm just not up to such manual dexterity. I push on.

Falls Creek arrives much too quickly so I fill my pockets yet again, send a text to EG and begin the descent. This is a descent I've done a million times. This time it's much harder than I can ever remember. Surely there's not this much uphill? My bodgy shoulder is starting to get really sore too. All the downhill on the drops is starting to take its toll. Now I'm making a corner, stretching my shoulder, then getting ready for the next corner. Tedious.

MtBeauty and I still have a full one litre bottle. I just may make it without a water stop. I creep up the nasty rolling hills out of MtBeauty very cautiously. I've trashed my legs on these innocuous lumps too many times in the past to be caught out again. Now it's just Tawonga gap and it's all over. I start off slowly, trying to find that rhythm. Nothing, just a grind. I'm sitting on 14kph and it feels like 10. Then ever so slowly I start to find that feeling. By the spring at around half way, I'm feeling strong and have that dance starting to happen. Three K's from the top and I'm doing 16kph. Yahoo. This is going to be alright.

I crest the top of Tawonga and begin the descent. The most technical, but by far the best descent of the ride. Toward the bottom of the main hill, I'm joined by Bearded Guy and another rider. Bearded Guy (BG) and I swap turns of around 500m gradually winding up the pace as we approach the turn to Bright. Slowly we pick up a string of riders including several I've passed and been passed by many times during the day. By the time we're onto the Great Alpine Rd BG and I are doing 100m turns and flying along at 38-40kph. Our string of riders flashing by one rider after another. We're calling UP-UP-UP as we approach to encourage them to tag on. Close to Bright, we pickup Gold Colnago Guy who I've spent quite a bit of time riding with today and he tags on to the train. Flying through Bright, round the roundabout you'd guess it was the final lap of a crit. Whooosh! Under the banner and it's all over for another year.

I stagger about, trying to find my card and something to eat and drink. Still buzzing.

To be continued...

...

ACE 2010 - Take 2

2010-01-28T13:28:00.002+11:00

This year's Alpine was different from the start. The new ACE250 distance was a bit of a mystery and a challenge. I had a whole different feel.

My preparation was great until about the start of December when suddenly work, life and the whole wind-up of the year started to slow me down. Then right before Christmas I strained my back which didn't completely stop me riding but constrained every movement for nearly four weeks. My planned post-Christmas training never happened, new year came and went. I eventually got out for a couple of half decent rides.

Having failed to book accommodation in Bright, Endurogirl (EG) and I mapped out an elegant yet simple plan for the weekend:

Drive to Wangaratta on Saturday
EG to compete in Wang Track Carnival (nice work Track Princess)
Retire to Wang motel for a couple of hours sleep
Nancy to drive to Bright at 2am for 4am start
EG to race Wang CBD Crit
EG to ride to Bright to meet up after the ride.

This all ticked along beautifully until I drove the car and $15k worth of carbon bikes under a humongous concrete canopy at the motel in Wang. Crap! While both bikes survived relatively well, the saddles on each of them were disintegrated and mine has a suspiciously expensive looking crack in the frame where seat and top tubes meet. This hampered the track meet for the Track Princess as she didn't have a road bike for warmups/warmdowns and instead of looking after her between pushes, I was running around town trying to find a couple of decent saddles in a country town at 5pm on a long weekend Saturday. Thanks heaps to Manon from Rock and Road Cycles who literally ran to his car to get me to the shop and back between his races at the track.

Further the car had a very mangled roof, the racks didn't fit any more and a smashed rear window. Thank goodness for window tinting and gaffer tape. Eventually, emotionally exhausted I dragged myself into bed just before midnight with alarm set to go off in an hour and a half.....

At Bright nice and early, I bumped into Commander Phil at 3am. He did my light check while I sorted out how much food I could fit into my jersey pockets. By the time I rolled onto the start line my head was on fire with worries about the bike, the saddle and my state of mind. Fortunately I rolled right up alongside Matthew R and Peter M who got me thinking about actual riding so I was fairly calm by the time we started.

The ride out to Harrietville was very quiet and I just worked into a rhythm. As soon as we started climbing, Matthew started moving away ahead of me. Man he is strong on these hills. I just worked at finding a nice even pace that wouldn't hurt me for later. Approaching The Meg my bike started to develop a soft squishy feeling. Damn, the frame is failing. No, a slow flat.

At the base of The Meg, I peeled off the tyre, found the tiny piece of glass I'd picked up, and put the whole thing back together with a nice new tube in the dark by the light of the trusty AYUPs. Thank goodness for CO2 cartridges.

Back on the bike I warmed back up - on The Meg. Slowly getting back to a decent rhythm I started cutting a swathe through the riders who'd passed me. Yahoo, now I felt GOOD. Hitting 35kph on the false flat and carrying it on. Was I going too hard? It felt ok. Then within spitting distance of the top the the climb to Hotham - another flat. This one took a lot longer to fix, mainly due to searching in vain for the cause of the puncture and really cold hands. Subsequent inspection reveals that it was a faulty tube.

The decent to Dinner Plain and beyond was a huge trial. Wet with sweat and cold as ice I shivered my way down. The tiredness of lack of sleep was telling too. Wonderfully, I bumped into Michael B as he rolled in to the Dinner Plain stop. Not so wonderfully, in my addled state, I forgot to check in and then took off in chase to ride with Michael for a while. After chasing him for around 5km and not catching sight, I gave up at which point Michael caught up with me!

The decent continued to be a trial of cold and sweat but having Michael there to chat with made it much easier. I can't remember being happier to see a decent hill than I was when we finally reached the base of Jim & Jack and got warmed by the sun.

To be continued.

...

ACE 2010 - Take 1

2010-01-28T12:01:00.003+11:00

the let-down of thin-skinned tyres and imagined crackle of carbon fibre cannot dull the passion drawn from me by these mountains. they etch maps of their winding roads into my skin as evidence that i was here. from salt-stung/tear-stained struggle to effortless soaring flight they speak to me in secret language only we share.

the incessant circles i inscribe on their slopes record the effort as chunks in the groove of a wax cylinder. vibrant now but hollow in the replaying.

pierced by searing white sunlight, i am bleached along with the snowgums. emptied of all but here and now. as i press puny bone and sinew against this ancient range my sweat imperceptibly erodes them as they erode me.

for now

no other rider exists

no controlle

no limit

no training

no reason

no ego

...

Blowing a Raspberry

2010-01-28T11:46:00.002+11:00

grit under my tyre
steep-piston leg punishment
drawn on teared eyeballs

...

Hurt Town

2010-01-22T09:38:00.004+11:00

I've calmed down a bit now. Taken my tablets and started to focus on the Alpine.

Due to a confluence of cycling and accommodation, I won't be getting to Bright until around 3am for a 4am start. We have a big weekend. Endurogirl is racing at Wangaratta on Saturday evening, we're packing up going back to the motel to try to sleep. I'm leaving for Bright at 2am for a 4am start in the ACE, while Endurogirl is getting up early for a hard warmup before riding the Criterium in Wang. Alas, when she finished, she will be sans car. So she'll take plan B - ride to Bright. Between us, we'll cover a few k's this weekend.

The upshot of this is that I'm busy planning my food/clothes/lights/gears and all that other little stuff 2 days out. Sandwiches, sports drinks, all the crap I can fit in my pockets. Trying to judge the right colour for bananas today so they'll be just right after two days in the car and back pocket at 35°C. While still making contingency plans for the weather forecast to change from blowtorch to blizzard between now and then. Then there's the serious question of what to wear, "Does my bum look big in this?".

The weather forecast looks bad. At this stage it's touch and go as to whether the Alpine will even start. It could easily be a scorcher or even a cata(tonic)clysmic fire danger day which would can the whole event.

I've had yet another crap preparation with a crook back for the last 5 weeks and limited riding. My real issue is just getting my brain to the start line. I know that what ever happens, it's going to really hurt. Foolishly I'll embrace that hurt and make it hurt more. I keep imagining Tawonga Gap after 220km with the heat blasting off that rock wall, clawing my way up that road by will alone.

Hey - this is gonna be fun :)

...

Bright - The Undesirables Arrive

2010-01-21T15:27:00.003+11:00

I took a sneak peek through Mr Magic's telescope last night from the bike shed in which I reside, only to discover that Bright is already beginning to be over run with -"Undesirables".

You know the ones. The Flouro Noddy Set. Those cyclists who champion leg and facial hair. Who revel in self-righteous pride at having no ability, style and really crap bikes. These are the riders who know that they own the Alpine, for they are the true Randonneurs!

They block the roads with their 100kg gas pipe clunkers, laiden with panniers full of army surplus survival equipment, their lighting systems which cost more than their bikes and make the sun obsolete as a light source. Impeding the progress of us normal cyclists with their massive egos, even bigger cassettes and holier than thou triple cranksets. I am forecasting an under-supply of humility and perspective.

These are the kind of riders who really impress me. Riders like Jono Lovelock who completed the Alpine in an astounding 6hrs and 19min at age 17. And is currently recovering from horrible injuries received while racing in China recently. Guys like Leigh who at past 50 can still knock over an Alpine in sub 8 hrs while hardly cracking a sweat. All this and they can look good while they're doing it!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

I don't believe most of what I've just written at all. I just love riding and hanging out with all riders. You are all the heart and soul of cycling and of Audax. I'm hot as hell under the collar because I just read that those riders who ride hard, look good, go fast, really aren't any good. They're not proper cyclists, just egos with big legs. Of course they go fast because they're young and fit and strong and have expensive bikes so their effort doesn't count.

I'm sorry Dave, I don't agree. We are all cyclists. Everyone of us busting a gut, pushing ourselves beyond what we ever thought possible. Straining until there's no more to give. Not to beat someone else, but to explore our own physical, mental and spiritual boundaries. To denigrate the ride of any of us is to diminish us all.

Yes, there are dickheads out there and lycra, shaved legs and carbon fibre seems to attract at least its fair share. Please don't let's discount every cyclist who ever rode beach road because there are some idiots riding there. The Alpine is not a race, it's also not a competition to see who can be the most sanctimonious and self-satisfied.

We're all cyclists and we are about to take on something awesome and beautiful. Let's enjoy it together instead of looking for ways to fight with each other.

...

A week in the life...

2010-01-15T13:13:00.003+11:00

This past week has had so much to write about it's hard to decide where to start. I feel like a kid in a lollie shop with a couple of hundred dollars.

Saturday saw me at track training with coach DJ and special guest (SG) coach. First up SG coach decided my saddle was too low. So up it went - 5mm - 10mm - 14mm!!!!! I've never moved my saddle more than 2mm at a time and then with fear and trepidation. The new position feels a bit strange but definitely flatter, more balanced and in good control of the bike. I may wait a while before trying to duplicate it on my road bike. Wearing my new "NancyBoy" black and pink skin-suit I felt like a million bucks. We were thrashed mercilessly for three hours with kilo effort repeats and two sets of 10 sprint efforts. My hammies definitely felt the change of saddle position.

Sunday I took on the Audax Higher and Higher ride with perfect weather served up for a hilly but scrumptious 100km. I got to spend some time riding and chatting with Tony B for the first time in a lot of years as well as hammering out a few nice hills. My legs are feeling good for the ACE it's just a matter of how they stand up the the "Raspberry" after 160km.

Tuesday and Thursday has seen yet more track training with my legs smashed to bits. This weekend is shaping up to be another tasty treat.

Endurogirl and I have been slowly constructing an amazing year of cycling featuring everything from 1200kms in Perth to a flying 200m in Portugal. We have currently filled 83 weekends for the year so there aren't a lot left to spare.

...

Scott Peoples Race

2009-12-14T10:24:00.004+11:00

Yesterday I raced Scotty Peoples race in Shepparton. I went out with the idea that it would be a good chance to get a workout and get blown off by the bunch sprint at the end. I had my arse handed to me on a plate.

We had a mass start for C (my grade), D and all of the women and girls. The first few km was neutralised.

Having worked myself up into a good position about 5 from the front, I thought I was in the right spot for the real racing to start. With a couple of hundred metres to go 'till the turn, dozens and dozens of riders came streaming past, suddenly putting me toward the back of the field and boxed in. The moment we turned it was on, the field smashing to pieces. I had to ride around riders and latch back onto the field several times before yet another gap opened up. To make matters worse there was no right spot to be. With a nasty right to left cross wind, it would have been good to ride the gutter. This, however, was broken and pot-holed, bringing down a couple of riders and seeing heaps of them riding off into the gravel.

Eventually, I just couldn't bridge the gaps any more and saw the main bunch riding off into the distance. Slowly we built up a little bunch of riders being shed from the front and found a few who were willing to work. We chased that bunch so hard for 40k, getting to within a 100m a few times, but just couldn't cross that last little bit.

I had a good finish within my little gruppeto, powering it to the line over the last few km and chasing down a couple attempted breaks. The good news was that I was able to power the group enough that it broke up quite substantially and I didn't get washed over by a pile of big legged sprinters at the line. So I'm learning something.

It was a great workout for a flat race. My heartrate monitor tells me I was working harder for that 75km than for the climb up Hotham last weekend. Once the race started in earnest, we covered the last 70 odd km at better than 40kph! This race was the first time I've used my fast race wheels with the new 12-21 cassette, it worked really well, allowing me to find the perfect gear, all the time. Even the hideous dead roads around Shep didn't seem too bad with 130psi in the tyres.

The race was really well run and organised with a really solid rolling road closure. This allowed for some interesting work through a few tricky corners but they had been well cleaned up to allow a fast racing line.

I'm sad that I really spoiled my race by getting caught out of position at the first jump. I'm sure I could have stayed with the front group if I hadn't stuffed that up but it's something to learn for next time.

Now bring on the hills!

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Tour of Bright

2009-12-11T09:00:00.002+11:00

Last weekend I competed in my first Tour of Bright. It's taken me a while to process everything enough to be able to write about it.

This is one of the best events I've ever been involved in. It pushed me to the edge of my ability and then a bit. It made me think about what I might be capable of. It scared the shit out of me. It was utterly spectacular. It was exhilarating. It made me feel alive.

Image Sarah Black

The event itself was run superbly, with everything happening exactly when it was supposed to. This made warmups and planning so easy. The results were always up in the web before I got back to my appartment. The Commissaires managed to find a good balance between keeping the peloton under control, being helpful and non-officious.

The racing was hot and competitive yet mostly friendly and considerate. In my race with the MMAS4-5 Masters between 45 and 55 at least there were very few racing for sheep stations. At times the racing was scary with riders going down in a bunch of 80+ or crashing on high speed decent from Tawonga Gap. I somehow stayed rubber side down.

In the end I finished in 33rd place in my division which was ok. I really wanted to finish in the 20's but let myself down with a crap time trial. I didn't leave anything in the tank though, virtually falling off my bike at the finish. I just have to practice TT a whole lot more. Some aero-bars, a disk wheel, tear-drop helmet and a specialist TT bike might help but it's mainly down to me. For those interested, all the gory details can be found here.

The most lovely part of the weekend was the care and support I received from Endurogirl, who prepared food, cold baths, clothes, prodded me to get to the start line and all the other things I needed, despite the fact that she'd been feeling ill all week. This made staying focused on the job at hand really easy.

What Have I Learned?

I have a heap of work left to do before the Alpine if I'm going to set a time.
I really did need a 27 tooth cog to climb Hotham - I actually found this out the previous week on the Alpine Delight.
Sukkie Hydration really does seem to work. No cramping in the race or the Alpine Delight and I can still drink the stuff when I'm tired.
A really cold bath can be fun when your legs are shot to hell. Just don't turn on the spa!
At the end of a hard timetrial, keep your eyes open for road signs. (not me but it was ugly)
Never drink half a litre of fruit juice and half a litre of milk just before racing up Mt Hotham.
Don't EVER let anyone take a wheel off you in a bunch, they'll just do it again and again.
If you think attack seems like a good idea, then attack. Don't think about it.
Red shoes are faster.
A sunshine smile can wipe away the darkest time-trial cough.

For the first time I feel like a real bike racer. Racing in big pelotons, up real mountains, in a stage race. What a hoot!

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brutality

2009-12-10T11:32:00.002+11:00

legs-core-heart-brain-soul
brutalised by icechill wind
and by each other

Inspired by the Alpine Delight

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Seriously

2009-10-18T20:28:00.003+11:00

Today marked the start of getting serious about hills again. I've been dabbling for the last few months and it's been going well. I suspect that last year I pushed too hard for too long and ended up paying dearly.

Last year I went hard, really hard, right through winter. Come spring I was exhausted and a flu got me. I compounded that with a crack at the Great Southern Randonee, and ended up really sick. That really put a dampener on the whole summer. This year I've done a few Audax rides, a bit of racing, some training on the track and a bit of commuting. Most importantly, I've taken time to recover, and kept it fun. Yes, I've gone out on days that I'd rather not, but still managed to find some fun in it.

Now, I'm as fit and as fast as I've ever been. I've got a new bike and a partner who encourages and guides me as an athlete. Coming up, I've got some big challenges. Fitz's Epic, the Tour of Bright, Alpine Delight and of course the Alpine itself. (I'm hoping to have a crack at track racing too this summer.) I know it's considered bad manners by some, but I really want to set a decent time for the Alpine this year. Last year my performance was crap and I want to do way better this year.

With this in mind I set out this morning for a little jaunt up Mt Donna Buang and back. (Most of the route I took is here but the tosser phone ran out of battery 10k from home.) Of course I didn't go straight there, I took the scenic route over the Dandenongs. What did I discover?

That a cheese sandwich, an apple scroll and two bottles of water is not enough to do 155km in the hills at a decent pace.
That it takes me a while to find a rhythm on a decent hill. I fluctuated for a while between too hard and too soft. It took about 4km to find a rhythm where I could hold a heart-rate of about 165-168 consistently and my cadence around 80.
That a 39-23 is probably a bit too high a gear for me to climb Donna Buang at present. Only just...
That knicks, lycra jersey, arm warmers and fingerless gloves is not enough gear to descend Donna Buang when it's 3 degrees C on top. Ooops.
That I have a heap of work to do.

I saw an interview with Liza Minnelli on ABC2 tonight where she said that the secret to remaining fit and healthy is curiosity. I hope to keep my riding and everything else, curious...

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Bike Hate

2009-10-01T14:40:00.003+10:00

OK - I've settled down enough to be vaguely rational now. This week has seen a new wave of weirdness in the media about cyclists on the road. You'll all be aware of Magda and Julia.

The Melbourne Age also published this piece of rubbish journalism.

First Magda and Julia. The little comedic rant is insidious because it fulfills all of the normal patterns for vilification of a minority group.

Firstly, pick a group with easily identifiable differences. The colour of their skin, an accent, head scarves or in this case lycra and cleated shoes.
Then repeat commonly held generalisations about the members of the group as though they apply to all members of the group. If we were talking Australian Aborigines, racists would say they are all drunks, unemployed, criminals and have no value for work or property. In this instance, cyclists all break the road laws and ride in lycra on Beach Road on a Saturday morning.
Next dehumanise them. They're not like us. They are outside of our normative patterns. Speak a different language/wear different clothes/have different standards of behaviour.
Finally, because they are so different, this group are not worthy of the protection of our societal standards of law, fairness and human rights. Their lives are therefore worth less than ours, and they can be harmed or killed in summary fashion.

This is exactly the way this rant went down. Imagine the uproar if the target had been

Aborigines, Jews, disabled people or homosexuals. Most of the non-cyclist responses on forums and so on have been, "come on, it's a comedy show, they were sending up those ideas". Again, a common defence of vilification.

The problem is that this rant is really how a significant proportion of motorists think about cyclists. I know from almost daily experience, and these people are hurtling around in a two tonne steel weapon. It's important that people in the media don't reinforce these societal patterns of abuse and vilification against minorities. It leads to people making bad decisions in the heat of the moment. When they are angry, scared or confused. Instead of using logic, they can resort to these bad patterns of discrimination and reaction.

Now the Age article... It is simply a case of a journalist taking what is really a bike safety message campaign from the police and turning it into a story about law and order crackdown against those lawless cyclists. Listen to the message from the police, then read the editorial wording and the headline. There is no connection. Just unmitigated crap!

All this at the start of what should be a great month for cyclists. Bike Week, Around the Bay, Ride to Work Day, the start of Daylight Saving, Herald-Sun Tour and on and on.

I'm left sitting here at my computer wondering what to do. Teetering between useless rage and throwing empty words at my keyboard...

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TV?

2009-09-29T11:55:00.002+10:00

I offer this without comment... You should all feel free.

There's No Place Like Riding My Bike, There's No...

2009-09-10T15:26:00.006+10:00

Sometimes women can be such strange creatures. Take shoes for example. They'll frequently spend way too much for a pair of shoes that really aren't any more functional than a really cheap pair. There have even been legends about magical shoes which convey special powers to the wearer.

Being fully rational, I'd never fall for that kind of nonsense. Shoes are a functional, utilitarian object. They need to fit, support the feet and have appropriate grip/construction for the job at hand. Catering to fashion or looks is mere folly and vanity. The person who chooses shoes on such a basis is doomed to end up choosing form over function, media over message. Discomfort and disappointment will ensue.

Unless of course you're talking about cycling shoes.....

Oh i used to be disgusted
And now i try to be amused.
But since their wings have got rusted,
You know, the angels wanna wear my red shoes.
Red shoes, the angels wanna wear my red shoes.

-Elvis Costello

But they'll have to catch me first!

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F#CK 200 Metres is a Long Way!

2009-09-04T12:02:00.002+10:00

The last few Thursday mornings I've been dragging my bones out of bed early to venture down to the velodrome. All to hopefully learn a few things about track racing and about going fast. Maybe this is the antidote to my utter lack of a turn of speed when the sprinters get flying.

To this end I've acquired "Nancy the Track Trollop", the blue beast seen here hanging out at DISC. And I've been getting onto the track before 6am to receive wisdom from Coach David.

Last Thursday saw us practicing flying 200m sprint efforts. These a fairly simply covering 200m or 4/5ths of a circuit of the track as fast as you can. It means coming off the very top of the bank on corner four coming into the straight going pretty quickly. Then accelerating flat out using the six or seven metres of gravity assistance to wind up to top speed by the time you hit the 200m line. From there it's simply a case of holding that speed for 20o metres. Simple? Right?

For a veteran Audaxer who can ride 1200km at a go this should be a simple thing. DahDong!

120m this is a lot harder than it looks
150m my legs are burning
180m no, they are on fire
200m that is damned near impossible

Five minutes later my chest has stopped heaving, my heart drumming in my ears has slowed a little and I feel a bit less like chucking. I think, I have to try that again.

It's incredible to think that something so closely related to what I have been doing for so many years can be so different. Every week I learn just how much I have to learn in order to do anything in this environment. The skills and type of fitness are very specialised and will take a long time to develop. At the same time it has so much of the beauty of cycling about it in a refined form.

Hi, my name is Nancy Boy, and I'm a cycling addict. Lend me your belt so I can find a vein?

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Goodbye B-Grade

2009-08-24T12:36:00.003+10:00

Racing has been pretty busy and successful of late. I've had a string of good rides marked by breaking away from the bunch, taking sprinting out of the equation. It all started with a win with my club in the sealed handicap a few weeks ago, followed by second in C grade at the Calder Masters.

The stakes were raised considerably when I finally took possession of the long awaited new bike. She is lovely - despite being yellow. I'll write much more about her soon.

Last weekend I took the new Nancy out for her first race, a graded scratch race around the schoolhouse circuit three times. We dropped most of the B-grade bunch on the first lap, leaving only four of us. I took the bit between my teeth and blasted off on the hill, halfway through the second lap. Managed to hold off the chasing group for the final 25km.

This week was club winter championships and saw a good turnout, including young Ethan, contesting B-grade after racing with the A's for a couple of months. After busting up the bunch on the first set of hills, the youngsters (Ethan and Sam) weren't too interested in a long break, so refused to do any work. I settled into an even Audax pace, just enough to keep warm, without working. The chase bunch like-wise laid off us by 50 metres, so I just lead the race along at pedestrian pace for the next 20km with an occasional punch over a hill to make sure they were still awake.

Working over the three sisters for the second time, I realised that I was on my own, so gave it the works on the third pinch. Inexplicably the youngsters waited for the main bunch to try to chase me down. That was all the gap I needed. I got to the foot of Sugarloaf Hill with a good couple of hundred metres in hand and pushed over with every drop I had. Then ground out the final 9km on the drops with my heart rate off the chart.

In the end I won by better than 500m but I was never certain until I crossed the finish line.

OK - So much for winning a race. Nice, but how do I feel about it? What's next? What have I learned?

I'll start with the last question. I've learned to stick my neck out, take a chance, back myself. In days gone by, I'd have finished with the bunch to be out-sprinted by almost all of them. On Saturday, I gave it my best shot. I'd have been happy with that decision if I'd been swallowed by the bunch and finished last. Mainly because I'm feeling good about taking a risk, staking my race on a move.

What's next? Hopefully A grade. There's nothing like racing with people who are a lot better to make you better. The Tour of Bright, definitely. The Alpine - this is my big aim for this year, and I'd love to set a decent time for the first ever ACE.

How do I feel about it? Very strange. I've had lots of trouble blogging about it. Almost my entire life as a cyclist has been focused on non-competitive cycling. Even the racing has been more about participation than results. Now it's getting serious, and I want to be the best I can. I'm treading a fine line between being motivated to be the best I can and being motivated by winning. Both are good, but only the first is sustainable long term. Right now I'm really happy looking to the stars, keeping my feet planted on solid ground.

I want to keep enjoying my riding without measuring myself against anyone else.

Postscript

Both Ethan and Sam who I'm sure were capable of going with me on the day were beaten on the line by one of the old stagers in the bunch Brett. I warned them earlier that Brett would beat them in a sprint. Maybe they'll listen next time. I hope not. ;-)

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Racetrack

2009-08-10T12:51:00.004+10:00

This Sunday took me for yet another new experience. Riding around a car racing track. I took part in the Calder Park Masters Spectacular. Possibly not so spectacular, but a really good experience.

Riding around the racetrack was interesting in itself. I expected to find that the track would have a near perfect hotmix surface. No! the surface was broken and in poor repair with cracks and frequent changes of grade. In fact the whole racing complex had the feel of rust and decay about it that you see in films set in run-down American industrial towns. To add to the desolation, it was horribly cold and there was a bone chilling northerly wind blowing directly down the hill. This made for some particularly tough racing up the hill into the wind.

I raced in C grade which was a pretty well matched group. I spent a lot of time out front, trying to shake things up without much effect. Finally three of us got away to a handy lead from the rest of the bunch and worked hard together to consolidate it, convincing the chasers to give it away.

Finally we got the bell lap and I jumped as hard as I could off the bottom turn and over the small hill. Seeing the other two still on my wheel I pulled off. They of course attacked at that moment. I had nothing to fight back with but managed to hold one of them at bay. The leader just blasted away from me. Coming onto the main straight, I expected to be out-sprinted for the line but got into my top gear early and gave it everything. My opponent sat up and let me go, much to my surprise. Second in C grade. I can't complain about that.

I'm happy with my racing the last few weeks. I really have started to push myself and try some moves instead of being happy to watch what everyone else is up to. It's kind of fun to be making some moves myself. It was even more fun warming myself up over excellent coffee and cake financed by race winnings afterwards.

The racing was done in friendly spirit, the organisers were laid back and accommodating. A really good day.

Today my legs are much sorer than I would expect but it's just tiredness. Now I'm looking forward to the next challenge.

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